Remembering My Mom: Violet Oaks 3/29/1917 – 3/19/2015

Posted by on March 24, 2015 in Peer Support | 10 comments

momatlakeThis past Thursday, we got some very sad news, that my Mother died at the age of 97. Eleven years ago, I helped move my Mom from her Chicago home to here in Eugene, where she lived in an active retirement center. I helped take care of her, but after my bad fall, my brother and my wife have done so much to help take care of my wonderful Mom, who has always been so loving, ethical, upbeat, helpful.

Below is an obituary prepared by my family:

Violet Oaks Obituary:

Beloved sister, wife, mother, grandmother and aunt Violet Elizabeth Oaks (née Stonis) passed away on March 19, 2015, at 97 years of age.

Born in Rockford, Illinois on March 29, 1917, Violet is preceded in death by parents Anton and Mary (Armin) Stonis; and by brothers Vito, Algert, and Albert. She is survived by sister Nancy Corcoran of Des Plaines, Illinois.

Violet was a resident of Chicago, Illinois for nearly eight decades before relocating to Eugene, Oregon in 2009. It was there on Chicago’s South Side that she married her late husband, Anthony T. Oaks and raised her two surviving sons Anthony Oaks of Houston, Texas and David Oaks of Eugene, Oregon. Violet was also a cherished mother-in-law to Charlene Paulus Oaks and Debra Nuñez as well as grandmother to Sarah, Anthony, John, and Eleanor Oaks.

Violet will be remembered for her brilliance and meticulousness, as well as her lifelong appreciation of her Lithuanian heritage, angel and bluebird tchotchkes, crossword puzzles, pinochle, travel, good food and drink, and, true to her name, flowers.

A celebration of life will take place at the 2nd floor lounge of the Eugene Hotel (222 E. Broadway, Eugene, OR, 97401) at 2 p.m. on March 28, 2015. A memorial and burial will follow in Chicago at the Lithuanian National Cemetery with details to be announced at a later date.

In lieu of flowers, the family asks that donations be made towards the care of son, David. Checks can be sent directly to: David W. Oaks Irrevocable Trust, c/o Chase Bank, 1100 Willamette St., Eugene, OR, 97401.

You may give online here.

Please visit and post your memory at this online memorial site created by our family:


  1. She was a brave person with an enormous strength of character. She fought for her kids… and deserves everyone’s respect and affections for this.

  2. So sorry to hear about the death of your mother.

  3. David, so sorry for your loss. I know how dear your mom was to you and those who knew her and from all I’ve heard she was a very amazing women. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

    Best Regards,

  4. I am so sorry for your loss. Violet was such a wise and kind elder, who fulfilled that role with distinct grace, passing on joy with her presence. Her ever ready smile was soulful and full of delight– as generous as she was Because she passed on so much about giving and receiving love, you have an exceptional legacy to carry on. My deepest sympathy: I can only hope that those who knew Violet are able to live as full a life as she exemplified. .

  5. Dear David, Tony and family of Violet, I know how sad it is to loose a wise elder and to know how blessed we are to have been in their realm. You are her legacy and are doing the work she lived by example. I’ll miss seeing her sweet face in your in your gathering.
    Heart-fully, Martha Snyder

  6. Dear David and Tony, I am sorry for the loss of your mother. I feel blessed to know her. I enjoyed listening to her stories and laughing with her when she talked about her family. She is a beautiful spirit who will be remembered for her generosity, kindness, gentleness, sense of humor, strength, and love for her family.

  7. I am so sorry for your loss. We were her neighbors on Artesian in Chicago for many years. She was a wonderful, amazing woman! I remember going next door to help her hang her laundry on the clothesline. Our prayers are with your family at this time.

  8. Dear David, I am sorry to hear of your loss. Your mother was such a strong woman. She was beautiful, had a great sense of humor, was a wonderful story teller, was, wise, funny, loyal, and loving. I hope you get a lot of comfort from sharing the many wonderful memories you have with your family and friends. I will miss her very much. I always tried to sit next to her at parties because she was so delightful to talk with. Best to you , Deborah and your extended family.

  9. Dear David & family,
    I am so sorry for the loss of your Mom. I was so lucky to have talked to her several times when she ran your office for Mindfreedom. She was so kind and gentle. You will always have memories of all the years she stood by you and the family with love, honor and compassion. She was an amazing woman! Sweet Violet!

    Linda Valentine
    Relatives & Allies of Psychiatric Survivors, Branch of Mindfreedom.

  10. i am so sorry for your loss David. She must have been an amazing person. I hope that memories of the good times help you and your family.